Cut Saar and Ganji - A generic recipe

Before the recipe

So! why dont I start this blog post with a technique which comes highly recommended by speech coaches all over the world. Off course when I say world I mean America. It is not the world whose countries have formed that thing called UN. The technique of course is to 'Start your speech with a joke'. Once you have the audience relieved of their apprehensions of your lack of sense of humor you can get into your really serious drivel. By the time the audience realize that the initial promise was only a bait and switch technique you will have finished your speech and you can heave a sigh of relief now.

So I need a joke. Let's see. When I was in India this joke was being told sickeningly forever as if it were a new joke. More sickening was to see at least 90% of the audience laugh at this stale joke. People seem to have a knack for forgetting jokes. Oops! I have slipped a bit in using this technique since after about more than 150 words I still have not told the joke. So the effectiveness of my rant today is not guaranteed. If you do not use the trick in the way it is intended to be used, don't blame the creators if it fails. It is guaranteed only if it is the first thing you say. The only thing you are allowed to say before the joke is perhaps "LET ME START MY SPEECH WITH A JOKE". I am now worried because I have passed almost 2 paragraphs without getting to the goddamn joke. If you are still reading, either you are waiting for the joke or the joke was after all not needed to be the first thing at the beginning to hold your interest. ( not sure if it makes any difference that you are a reader and not a listener)

Now since I have lost the element of surprise I must warn you that the joke is pretty lame. I believe I already said that. So why don't we hold off on the joke... no lets get it out of the way. The joke is timely because the cold virus has touched the Silicon Valley including yours truly. I have been suffering from this disgusting cold for more than 11 days. After the third day I was deceived into thinking it had subsided, only to be blind sided with a knockout fever the same night. Things got slightly better after the 8th and 9th day. However, just when I thought the cold had given up and the game was over for it, I had to content with a stodgy rear gaurd resistance by the tail enders cough and headache on the 10th and 11th day. They carried the night 'not-out' and are playing for a draw today.

The joke is "Don't take medicine for common cold. It will go by itself after 7 days. But if you take medicines it will be gone quickly in just one week". I had warned you that this was not funny.

As was well established before now, last night I was facing a gritty onslaught by cough and head ache. On Face book I posted this blurb for my upcoming recipe for Cut saar-anna also referred to as daal rice, rasam rice by other similarly sick compatriots from India.

Here is the teaser "Steaming hot daal rice with the consistency of soup, generous sprinkling of grated green chilli, hing, jeera and mustard seasoning, salt a bit on the higher side. What does that say to you? To me it says 'wake up, you sick, coughing, on-and-off fevered, fellow'.

This blurb generated such excitement (along with some sympathy) I decided to put down my recipe for Cut Saar. The word Cut is used only to produce the Kannada sound kuT It does not mean anything.

Recipe for Cut Saar
Ingredients:

• 2 cups of (Ravi) rice
• 2 cups of Toor Daal
• Half a jalapeno, which is a fat Mexican chili which has a strong flavor of Indian Chili but is not as spicy. This is ideal for making menasina kayi bonda. Cut the jalapeno into 1/2 inch pieces so that you can separate them from your soup. Or chop it smaller if you enjoy eating them in the soup
• Half a spoon of Jeerige (jeera/cumin)
• Half a spoon of black mustard seeds
• 4 curry leaves
• 1/2 an inch of ginger - minced
• 1/2 spoon salt (3/4 if you like salty)
• 2 spoons of ghee or butter
• 11 cups of water. (the water needs to be split between Rice and Daal).
• 2 tablets of Extra Strength Tylenol or similar generic.
• Steam cooker gas stove, tongs, a pan big enough to make daal

Procedure:

1. Take 2 extra strength Tylenol with 1 cup of water. Don't drink too much water. You need to save water for the rice and daal. Also better to avoid a bio break.
   
2. Bake 2 cups of rice with 8 cups of water to make it soupy in a steam cooker.
   
3. Bake 2 cups of toor daal in 4 cups water in a steam cooker. The daal is expected to be not too watery.
   
4. At this point you should have run out of water (in your water container of course) . Else you did something wrong. Retrace your steps.
5. Wait for the daal and rice to be done (indicated by 3 whistles on your steam cooker followed by 15 minutes of cooling period)
   
6. Heat 2 spoons of ghee or butter in the pan in which you plan to make the daal. Don't use a small bandley (small frying pan). It means you have one more dish to wash.
   
7. When ghee/butter melts add a pinch of hing, half a spoon of black mustard seeds and the chopped curry leaves.
8. When mustard seeds pop add 1/2 spoon of jeera. Now you should be careful not to over roast the jeerige. So IMMEDIATELY after 10secs,
   
9. dump daal into it.
   
10. Add the minced Ginger to the daal.
11. Add 1/2 a spoon salt. Boil for 5 min. Now turn off the stove
12. Mix 2 measures of the above daal to one of measure of rice (assuming you remembered to cook it).
    
13. When nobody is looking use your hands to mix the rice and daal
    
14. It should have the consistency of a soup.
15. Eat hot. ( Instead of 'Serve hot' as suggested by traditional recipe writers)
16. To eat (or drink) use a soup bowl and a deep round spoon like they have in Chinese restaurants in India.

Recipe for Ganji

1. It is very simple to make Ganji (or GnajooTa) from the same recipe.
   
2. Skip making the daal. Cook 2 cups of rice with 8 cups of water.
   
3. Add the seasoning to the rice. A minor update here. After you add the seasoning to the rice, you need to add the ginger and boil the Ganji for about 4 minutes after